Monday, February 2, 2015

I wanted adulthood before I knew the hell it entailed

JUNE

Three.
My Valedictorian speech. So much work and sacrifice, and I almost didn’t even make it here. Quite literally nearly killed myself over this crap. All my siblings come to my graduation. A damn good speech.

Ten.
Packing, packing, packing. Sorting through old papers and older memories to decide which to pack away and which to bring.

Sixteen.
Spontaneous trip to the beach, dragging along Rose, quite possibly the only person here that doesn't hate me. She is my oldest friend. If only she'd gone to the same school. Stopping on the way home to get a final burrito from our favorite hole-in-the-wall Mexican place.

Twenty one.
A day spent saying goodbye. Rose and a select few others, but also my favorite spots in the city. The pool, the back roads, the second-hand book shop.

Twenty five.
My last day with you. After calling you up and apologizing for our fight, and having you stop me and firmly tell me I have nothing to apologize for.. Starbucks and hoping to God above that I won’t go home smelling like coffee. Just talking, jeez, just talking with you. A tight hug, but nothing like we’ve had before. Wishes of luck on both sides. Driving away without reckless intent.

Twenty eight.
My last minutes with my parents. Mom trying to hide her tears and hugging me for longer than you did. Dad’s dependable “Be nice to everybody,” and my just as dependable response, “learn something new.” Pulling out of the driveway and seeing mom running out of the house, frantically waving something around. Rolling down my window. Tangled. She is giving me Tangled. My turn to tear up and an extra hug for Mom before buckling up.

Thirty.
So many unsaid goodbyes… Tim, Jacob, Daniel, Raechel, Kass..
  
Thirty one.
But actually leaving? Leaving is easy.




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