I spend winter ball night making out with you

December 13, 2013

“And you’ll have to excuse my driving. I’m scary when I’m upset.” I grimace but you don’t seem tense at all.

“Oh go for it. You’re never angry. Get it out.”

That’s all the encouragement I need to go crazy, 80 mph on the back roads, music blasting, and you are just there with me.

When, out of sheer desperation, I called you in tears and told you I was driving around, aimless, lost, alone, you dropped everything to meet me. You didn’t even ask what was wrong, you just came. And even now, you still don’t ask. You’re just here.

When most of my emotion has calmed, we pull over and just talk. It’s still so easy. I tell you how bad I’ve been getting because I’ve been aching to tell somebody. I wouldn’t have been so upset about Jacob taking another girl to Winter Ball if I hadn’t been feeling so crappy this month. Depression comes in waves and right now it’s a freaking tsunami.

And you just listen, good ol’ dependable Ian. You offer unconditional love and maybe that’s what I need right now.
        "Jacob is a bum and after what he said to you, you don't owe him anything." You're in protection mode, I can tell.
        "I know.. That's pretty much what Daniel told me too."
        You cock your head to one side, a unspoken question. I wave my hand, dismissing the long answer.
        "I was saying how much I missed Jacob. And Daniel went through all of the reasons I broke up with Jacob again with me. It was just what I needed."
        This time, a smirk from you. It's my turn to cock my head to the side.
        "It's just.. you don't think Daniel has ulterior motives?"
        "What do you mean? He's my best friend."
        "So was Jacob."
        Oh. Oh.
        "Nah I don't think Daniel feels that way about me."
        You scoff. "How could he not? You're.. you!"
        It’s obvious that I’m still not thinking straight when I grab you by your shirt and pull your lips to mine. There is a second hesitation on your part and for a moment I’m terrified I’ve done something wrong, and then you’re kissing me.

Oh. My. Dear. Lord. I’d forgotten what it was like to be kissed, and kissed right, by someone who’s not slobbering all over me in disgusting ignorance. Your lips move over mine with ease, capturing them, making them yours. And then your teeth graze my lower lip and I can feel myself melt into your arms, like I have a million times before, like the past two years haven’t even happened.