Sometimes the right people can make all the difference

      Salinas, California
      The first drop of rain pelts my forehead. I run for cover as the downpour unfolds in a matter of seconds. The wind roars around the raindrops, driving them every which way, making any cover useless anyway. Pretty soon, I can't see through the droplets covering my glasses.
      I sigh, whipping the glasses off, biting my lip, and stepping back out into the rain. I've taken five steps before I am soaked. My hair sticks to my neck and my wet jeans cling to my legs in a cold embrace. The rain stings my face and arms and I can't feel my nose or fingertips. I've taken ten steps before I am absolutely freezing.
      My mind flashes back to a distant rainy day, the same clingy jeans, the smell of wet leather around the arms that hold me - your arms - shaking with laughter, both of us warmed to the inside.
     The memory makes my heart cold too and I'm not sure I've ever felt this trapped.
     Everything is so blurred by the rain mixing with my tears, dampening the surrounding colors and I am struck with such a feeling of dreariness, and I just feel numb.


      Provo, Utah        September 2, 2013
      I gasp for air, giggling and running down the hallway having left me breathless. It is only our first night together, but my roommates and I are already clicking. We thunder down the stairs and burst from the door into the pouring rain. Oh goodness, it's really coming down hard, but it's warm and steady.
      Soon we're all drenched to the bone. My t-shirt clings to my body, my jean shorts weigh a ton from all the water. My hair falls wildly down my back, around my shoulders, the natural curl going crazy. Rain drops spill down my shoulders, my arms. We're laughing and shrieking every time lightning strikes, jumping when thunder hits, and I'm not sure I've ever felt this free.
      Everything is so blurred by the rain, but all the colors are even more vivid and I am struck with such clarity in that moment, and I just feel alive.