I hope You still appreciate my corniness

       Ian,                                                                                                           April 15, 2014

       Winters have never been easy without You, and this one was no different.

       Except that it was. It was a struggle, don’t get me wrong. But I just.. I’ve.. Ok, the only way I can think to describe it is to tell you about spring.

       You know how Salinas never ever had seasons? Just constantly gray and cloudy skies, with sixty degree temperatures? Utah is different.

       Our campus has been snowed in all semester. And the trees… they’ve been bare for so long. Bare and lifeless, with only a thin layer of snow to cloth them. I wonder how You would feel about snow. Anyways, one day, when I looked up, it was different. The trees were growing back. Delicate pearly flowers blossomed from teeny green buds, vibrant, alive. And seeing them, those trees that had been beaten and empty for months, coming back to life.. okay, it’s gonna sound corny so don’t You laugh. Those trees gave me hope that I could do the same. I have been beaten and stripped and empty for so long, for years. Honestly, since You. But, I dunno, I’ve been (might as well embrace the corniness now) growing back. It’s been a ridiculously hard process not without setbacks and mistakes. Not all my blossoms are perfectly formed. But they are there and they are strong.

       Did You know that I forgot Your birthday this year? April 3, I remember it now. But that day came and went and I.. well of course I thought about You. After all this time, I still think about You every day. But Your birthday wasn’t anything special. It wasn’t a disastrous day or one stuck in memories. It was just another day for me. And that’s how I’m taking things now. One day, one moment, one blossom at a time.