Thanksgiving would've been better with more parmesan

It breaks my heart to admit how awkward it is to be around my entire family right now. I knew it was bad last Christmas, but it hasn’t gotten any better.

It’s not anything they consciously do. It’s half just my overreacting. But what else am I supposed to do when I’m constantly surrounded by couples and “family units” and everyone is making jokes about it? They’re not funny anymore. I haven’t found you and I don’t need it rubbed in my face.

Basically Thanksgiving was not a happy vacation holiday like I needed it to be. I should want to spend time with my family. But I’m honestly just dreading Christmas.

It’s a relief then, to find myself at ease around Lauren and her husband, McKay. Grace and I take a road-trip up to see them, and also for Autumn’s homecoming.

*Sidestory alert*

Autumn’s homecoming is amazing. We surprise her and the minute we walked into the chapel, her jaw drops. When she hugs us after her talk, she starts crying. And then we spend the next hour catching up with her slightly neglecting her other guests. It’s awesome. We’re very excited for her to come back to school next semester. 

I think I feel so comfortable half because McKay and I are actually friends, and half because I have Grace there and we’re basically a married couple. But Lauren and I have always (well post-childhood anyway. We kinda bumped heads when we were littler) had an easy relationship. Even after months of not calling her, it feels the same. I feel the same around her. I don’t feel alone.

We’re sitting in the pizza restaurant across the table from each other and laughing and planning the decorations on our gingerbread houses that should be steady by the time we get home.

And then.

McKay reaches for the parmesan shaker.

*Sidestory alert*

The Rosa family has a bit of a reputation for loosening the lids on parmesan and pepper shakers. Tanner probably started it. I did it on my awful date with Brandon and barely kept a straight face when he used it and got a pizza full of parmesan. Someone (none of us remember doing it, that’s how subconscious it is now) did it at Lauren's wedding luncheon, and Dad got a plate full of parmesan. It’s just a thing.

 So of course I can’t resist loosening the parmesan shaker lid at this restaurant.

McKay brings the shaker to his plate and tips it. And then Lauren makes some snarky comment at him, and he pauses less than half a second from a plate full of parmesan. And reverses the direction. And jokingly waves the parmesan shaker at her.

POOF.

Lauren full of parmesan.

There is a literal four seconds of silence at the table.

Then Lauren's eyes narrow and she looks straight at me. “Jessica.” It’s not a question.

And Grace bursts out laughing. McKay joins in nervously. That’s all it takes to release the laughter balling up in my throat. I start and I can’t stop.

Lauren pinches parmesan off her shirt and throws it at me, but she’s laughing too, and Grace is nearly in tears from laughing so hard, and I can’t stop laughing.

Later, in the middle of finishing our gingerbread houses, Lauren finds some parmesan on her shoe that we missed, and we all start laughing again.

It’s a moment of ease and relief.. to be laughing more than crying. That’s not how it’s been lately.

Be prepared for pizza with my family where at least one person, most likely you since you’ll be the newb, will end up with a slice so buried in parmesan that you can barely see the pizza anymore, and be prepared for endless laughter about it, and know that I love you.