With the beginning of a new semester, new roommates, a new job.. I'm feeling a little panicky

     I know myself well enough to know that when I get panicky, I tend to run. Relationships, jobs, classes, man, it doesn't matter what it is.
     I don't want to do that anymore.  
     I think I need to go back to therapy.
     I haven't been in a long time, mostly because I've learned most everything I could about depression and coping tools from therapy. But there are some new things I'd like to focus on..
     I have weird issues with intimacy that obviously need to be cleared up before you come into my life. I want to be able to talk with you about self-harm and not just be awkward and shy away from it. Anxiety is limiting my life so stinkin much that I would love to get some help there; I don't want it to be super frustrating for you too.
     After so long, asking for help still feels foreign to me. But it's nice to see that I've grown enough to be able to ask for it when I need it.
     Have a good beginning of your semester and know that I love you.

The last one you are not

You are not Daniel.

This one is the most fresh, and so the most painful, fact to reconcile with.

You are not nerdy conversations about league. You are not hands running through messy hair. You are not agnostic to the point of breaking my heart. You are not a million skype calls and tumblr reblogs and book recommendations and anime references. You are not states and states away.

But I hope you’re still a crazy genius.